Rhi Reynolds
Every attempt feels like slow motion. As I walked up to take my third clean and jerk attempt, with people yelling words of encouragement, I decided it just had to be done. Heavy off the floor…big power, and then the loud crack of my feet on the platform as I finish the second pull. The squat was effortless. Deep breath, big dip and drive. Nailed it. I let the weight drop to floor with a sigh of relief and a smile.
Let’s back track a bit. I was at the MDUSA training facility that all hopeful weightlifters watch with sparkling eyes on their Youtube channel. It was a dream come true for me; packed with anything I would ever need to train, including a team environment. This place was full of positive energy. It is even hard to explain. It is just…different. Everyone in the building was brimming with passion and determination. I had the great privilege of getting to chat with some of the team on Friday, namely “the” James Tatum, before their scheduled practice session. Practice was open to the public, so I and a few of the other competitors decided to watch. I was in heaven! I think I was smiling the whole time. It was so awesome seeing seasoned lifters train. It’s much different than anything I’ve seen thus far. And I have to say, if you think they’re fast in the videos, that’s nothing compared to seeing them in person.
As I watched them train, I noticed one thing. These athletes have been doing this long enough where there is no thought required. They’re experienced enough where they can flip the switch from having fun to complete focus with no transition period. After I was done with the whole competition on Saturday, I realized…yet again…that this is still something I struggle with.
In the warm-up room on Saturday, I couldn’t be more excited. I was warming up and competing against girls that I’ve only read about or seen in lifting videos. The competition was fierce. But I also recognized that I had a total that was good enough to compete with these girls. Nevertheless, I am still human, and the competition anxiety snuck up on me as I got closer to my opening attempt for the snatch. I had to sit down and collect my thoughts for a moment. Right after I tried shaking it off to take a warm-up rep, my name was called…and my heart stopped. I had to run out and take my opening attempt at 67kg without even warming up to 56. This, in retrospect, actually saved me from the anxiety monster. I missed my opening attempt, but just barely. I walked away from the bar in kind of a disbelief that I was even able to come that close. The reason I was so close: I wasn’t thinking at all. I came back on my second attempt and easily made it. I tried 70, but didn’t get tight in the bottom and missed it behind.
Like the experts all say, once you’re in the game, you feel more comfortable. 67kg is a competition PR for me. I’m happy with the progress: I snatched 63kg for a meet PR March 8th, and now I am opening with a weight that’s 4kg higher. I had, and still have, no complaints. After I was done with all of my attempts, I got to hang out and watch the other girls snatch. Again, I was all smiles. I saw some great lifting and got pumped for the clean and jerk.
Warming up was going great. Everything felt light and technical. And I was attacking the hell out of my jerks. I have a pretty strong jerk and rarely miss. Flash forward to my opening clean and jerk attempt at 84kg. Easy clean…and then I MISSED THE JERK BEHIND. I haven’t missed a jerk behind me since the Hookgrip Open last year, when I had bombed out. I walked away in disbelief, because this was supposed to be an easy opener. It was, in fact, easy. Again, I had let my subconscious get to me. If you’ve competed before and this has happened to you, I know you feel my pain. If you haven’t had this happen to you, let me explain: when you miss something that you’re normally strong at, it messes with you. The trick is, not to let it. I went in for my second attempt, missed the jerk again behind. I sat down, following myself for my last attempt, and told myself to just hit this lift like I do in the gym.
When I made that 3rd attempt I had people screaming in the audience. That’s the great thing about weightlifting: no one may actually know you, but they’re yelling your name to make that lift. They feel your struggle. When it comes to pushing, you will push harder. Although I may not have done as well as I wanted to, I am still proud of myself. Same as with my snatch PR, I opened 1kg higher than my last meet CJ PR in Baltimore. I ended up having a PR total of 151kg, and placing 8th overall in the competition by Sinclair.
Overall, this has been one of the best experiences of my life. I don’t know if I made the team or not. I am still waiting to hear. Regardless, I am extremely happy that I made the trip and have this great life experience under my belt. On my 12 hour drive home I decided: no more anxiety! It’s so annoying! I’m more confident than I’ve ever been in my life. I have a long ways to go, but I want to keep growing. There’s no reason to have fear. Fear is just manufactured in the mind. The body is limitless, but the mind is what holds us back. I’m not saying I’m never going to be anxious at a meet again, but I do want to work on controlling my emotions and discovering that same focus I saw team MDUSA use. I left inspired. More inspired than ever. I can’t wait to put some plates on the bar.
I’ll keep you all updated on my training cycle for Nationals next week. This week is a much needed deload. When Saturday rolls around, I’ll be back to the grind.